31 December, 2007

Who wants to marry an omnivore? or "Vegansexual?!?"

Hey All,

For the last time in 2007, this is P_M here to give my point of view on the whole "vegansexual" thing. For those who you who either don't know, or can't guess vegansexual is a term coined to represent vegans who only sleep with other vegans. Before I continue I should mention that it is a preference and therefore individual ( I don't speak for every vegan living or dead so don't think that anything i say holds true for all of us).

now that the disclaimer is out there, I will say that while I would not have sex with an omnivore. I will never refer to myself as "vegansexual" because I think the term is insipid and unneeded. there is no term for people who don't kiss smokers , or for Christians who don't date outside of their religion, so why should there be one for vegans who would rather not have physical relationships with omnivores.

At present, my dating policy is that I'll go out on a
first date with anyone I find worthy, omnivore, vegan, vegetarian, republican, whatever. if the person is vegan then the relationship will progress normally, and if it's meant to be ( it's an old saying go with it) there will be wedding bells and little vegans corrupting the world. If the person is not vegan, things get interesting.

If the person i'm going on this hypothetical first date with is a vegetarian, then i'll try to encourage them to go vegan and if they do, it's all good, i
f they don't then as things start to get serious i'll talk with them and level about my desire for a vegan household and if they are willing to comply (order non-vegan food at restaurants and keep it out of the house/ raise the kids vegan) then the relationship will progress if not...bye bye, it was nice while it lasted you cheese addicted little something or other.

if the person is an omnivore it works the same way, because I couldn't be with someone for a long time if they could kill or condone / support the killing of sentient beings. Life is too precious to me to spend it with people who throw it away for the sake of taste.

But what about love? someone reading has got to be thinking that right now. well, love could lead me to compromise ( allow him to keep non-vegan items in a small section of the refrigerator) , but love is an unpredictable variable. i like to think that love involves sharing values on some level, and that my expression of those shared values as veganism is something that the man i end up with will share. it takes more than love to build a lasting bond with another person. Besides...

Asking me if i could love a speciesist is like asking you if you could love a white supremacist or a sexist or a racist. Could you love and marry someone who you didn't think was ethical or morally sound in their actions towards others?

to wind this up, let me say that I know the term vegansexual is usually purely centered on sexual relations, but in this post I've opted to extend it to refer to long term relationships and marriage, because thats where I thought it most relevant to me ( I'm one of those classy chicks who need a ring before i let a guy go there), hope I haven't confused anyone with the term stretching.

thats all for now,
comment so I wont forget why I do this, ( or even so I'll know that you think I should do it better),
yours till I'm not anymore,


  1. I agree with you about core values. Successful relationships must be formed from shared core values.
    And I like the way you explained it here, too.

  2. haha your post was awesome! Thanks I needed some good reading! I agree with the values as well. And well...Idk how I feel about hte word vegansexual. It is rather annoying the way everything is always put into lil perfect categories and labeled.

    Either way! Good for you to stand up for what you believe in but to also be open minded and yet encouraging when it comes to a stupid omni! It is our duty to let them know what is truly going on to those animals :(

  3. Thanks so much for this post! I've had a string of experiences lately where I've tried dating omnivores, experienced great chemistry between us, only to be rejected after the second date because I refuse to eat with them while they're eating corpses.

    They feel judged and criticized, even though I've never made any critical remarks about their penchant for gorging on the recently deceased (ok, so I'm venting here - I don't use those terms with them!). I simply tell them that I choose not to eat with people while they consume animal products.

    Is it really so difficult for them to curb their lust for flesh (other than mine) during the time we spend with each other?

    Anyway, I've been on the receiving end of a lot of hostility about being vegan lately, and it was reassuring to read your post. Thanks!

  4. Thanks!

    I had to think about it sometime in the past, because when I stopped supporting the exploitation of animals (I started a vegan lifestyle) my husband didn't make a change nor wanted to. It was a problem, I felt terrible. People saying to me that it was extreme to leave a relationship "just" because of that. That I am a fanatic vegan, that I am doing wrong. That love is more important. (I also got encouraging comments)

    But then, it is easy, isn't it?. I wouldn't share my life (children, etc) with a non-vegan (philosophically speaking, which includes welfarists, vegetarians, etc) the same way I wouldn't share my life with a racist that slaves people from other races or a feminist that treat man as inferiors or the way around.

    Is easy as that. I could live with someone that does not share my opinion about clothing, music, reading, politics at some point, etc, etc... but when the "opinion" involves prejudices that affect the life and freedom of others.. and when it is a lesson of "we are better, we are superiors" to our children.. well.. I won't be there!

    ** I asked my husband to watch the film Earthlings together, and after we did so, and had a together analysis of the film, etc., he decided to stop supporting exploitation as well and he is today a happy vegan :-)

  5. Jesse Cervantes24/11/11 3:22 AM

    Just stumbled across this blog, and your entry. This was extremely insightful for me! I'm really researching going Vegan (not that the option is difficult) and things like the different ones you described above really make sense to me. I may not make sense right now but I'm really fascinated and opened up an avenue of thinking for me tonight. Thanks!